Scoop your Poop – a guide to having a responsible outdoor jobby

There are times when we’re all allowed a cheeky laugh at something. The occasional Biology class at school, perhaps, or a seagull stealing a child’s ice-cream. Well this blog talks about pooping responsibly outdoors in the countryside, and we won’t stand for any silliness here. Especially you there in the back. Calm down, Timkins. A public toilet and wild toilet are both important lessons, and you will be taught.

A man holds his bottom and some loo roll as he searches for an urban toilet.

Toilets Around Inverness and Loch Ness

The easiest solution to your outdoor toilet problem is to go indoors. Yes that’s right, by planning ahead, you can maximise squirrel spotting and minimise squirmy hopping.  Inverness has many good public lavatories, including the Eastgate shopping centre or if you’re a bit out of town, there are toilets at Whin Park.

Also remember that there are many pubs and cafes in Inverness. Whilst we don’t recommend barging in and only using their toilet, we do think that spending time with a cup of hot chocolate before relieving yourself in their restroom is a pleasant and practical way to spend half an hour. 

To see a range of toilets around Inverness – and around the whole of the UK – this toilet map will prove very useful. 

A man celebrates his toiletfreedom by waving loo roll in the air.

Don’t Poo-Poo this Paragraph

As Robert Burns himself said, “The best laid plans of mice and men can’t account for unexpected toilet stops”. We all get caught short, and a child in the back of the car who needs to go now, really needs to go now.

So you’re in the middle of the Highlands, no building around for miles and got some urgent business to attend to. What’s the best way to do a responsible outdoor poo?

The Scottish Outdoor Access Code was created to help ensure that everyone has statutory access rights to most of Scotland’s outdoors.  Its guidelines for taking an extreme measure outdoors are: “If you need to urinate, do so at least 30 metres from open water or rivers and streams. If you need to defecate, do so as far away as possible from buildings, from open water or rivers and streams, and from any farm animals. Bury faeces in a shallow hole and replace the turf.”

It’s common sense, really. Don’t wee into streams or rivers ( in case there are, for example, people playing in it just down from you). If you need to have a jobby, do it far away from any buildings and if you can dig a hole, poop into that before covering it up. Don’t leave your deposits by the roadside or path. That’s just asking for trouble. Try and go as far away as possible and that is safe to do so. This way,  it should mean no children discovering a little surprise, and no dogs getting a pre-dinner “treat”.

You may also wish to try and poop in a bag (preferably one with no holes). Then double bag it and dispose of it responsibly. This is a responsible method of ensuring you don’t interrupt anyone’s day. It would save leaving any mess behind at all!

So there you have it. Whether you have to make your own wild toilet, or are in civilisation and can get to a public one, where there’s a will there’s a way! Good luck on your outdoor adventures!